Once upon a time there was a very small kingdom called Behrensia. And in that kingdom there lived a very brave, beautiful, and smart princess named Allison Rose.

Every day, Princess Allison Rose’s father, King Dennis, went to the counting house and spent the day counting jewels and gold coins. Every day her mother, Queen Phyllis, went to work in the ivory tower, where she studied Ologies and battled Evil Administrators. And every day, Princess Allison Rose went to play in the castle garden.

Now, the castle garden was large and lovely, with cool ponds to splash in, and soft grass to roll in, and shady fruit trees to read under. But to be honest, though she liked the garden very much, the Princess felt a little lonely.

So one day, Princess Allison Rose decided to find someone to share the garden with. She packed herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a juice box, and she crept out quietly through the garden gate.

For a long time, the princess walked around fields and through orchards, and she walked across rivers and beneath mountains. Her feet were starting to get tired, and she still hadn’t found a friend. She stopped on the top of a hill, and sat down to eat her sandwich.

But just as she took her very first bite, she heard a strange noise coming from under the hill. It sounded like this: clink-thump-SIGH!

Allison Rose wrapped her sandwich back up and walked back down the hill. All she saw was grass and rocks. But when she walked around to the other side, she found the entry to a cave. Clink-thump-SIGH! That was where the sound was coming from. It was too dark for her to see inside, so she tiptoed in.

At first, all she could see were two glowing green lights. She stood for a few moments to get used to the dark. And pretty soon, she realized that those green lights were eyes, and that they belonged to an enormous dragon!

The dragon was lying on a treasure pile even bigger than anything that King Dennis had in his counting house. It looked like the gold and jewels weren’t very comfortable, because the dragon kept shifting around the pile (clink!), and collapsing onto it (thump!), and then complaining loudly when it was still hard and cold and sharp (SIGH!).

Allison Rose watched this for a while, and finally she cleared her throat very politely. The dragon swung her huge head to face her, and opened her mouth to reveal rows and rows of teeth as sharp and glittering as diamonds.

"Hello!" said the Princess (did I tell you she was brave?). "Sorry to disturb you. I’m Princess Allison Rose." The dragon didn’t say anything, so the princess went on, "If you’ll pardon my saying so, you look like perhaps you could use a bed that’s a bit, umm, cozier."

The dragon snorted, and a billow of steam erupted from each nostril. Quickly, Allison Rose said, "Personally, I like to rest in our palace garden because the grass is so springy and soft. You can lay back and watch the clouds sail by, and the hummingbirds, and the air smells like lemon blossoms. Of course," she added politely, "it’s not as fancy as your bed…"

But the dragon interrupted, "It sssoundsss very niccce." And she sighed again, this time wistfully, and even louder than before.

Allison Rose smiled. "Would you like to come home with me?" And the dragon nodded and smiled back.

When they came out of the cave together, the princess saw that the dragon had a body covered in emerald green scales, and down her back was a ruby crest, and she had huge, topaz wings. She shone and glittered in the sun. Allison Rose shared her sandwich and juice with the dragon, and then the dragon (whose name, it turns out, was Pearl) spread her wings and told the princess to climb onto her back. Pearl flapped into the sky. They raced back to Behrensia, Allison Rose’s hair flying wildly behind her.

When they arrived, Pearl found the castle garden very comfortable indeed. With more sighs, but contented ones this time, she curled herself up next to the second biggest fishpond, and was soon fast asleep. The princess was exhausted from all her walking, and she, too, slept at Pearl’s side.

That evening, when the king left the counting house and the queen climbed down out of the ivory tower, they were very surprised to find a dragon at the dinner table. But of course, one must never be rude to guests, and so they welcomed her and, when Allison Rose told them of the day’s adventures, they told Pearl she could stay in the garden as long as she liked.

In the days that followed, Allison Rose found the dragon to be wonderful company. Pearl would take her on thrilling rides. She knew all sorts of interesting places to visit. And every afternoon the two of them would find a good spot on the grass and take a nap. In the evenings after dinner, Pearl and King Dennis would have long talks about coins and things.

After a while, though, the princess noticed that sometimes Pearl would gaze out of the garden distractedly and sigh. The king in the next-door kingdom, who hadn’t minded the dragon at first because he was an amateur herpetologist, came over to complain that his trees were getting scorched when Pearl snored. Finally, one day, Allison Rose and the dragon sat down for a talk.

"I’m very sssorry," said Pearl. "I’ve been having sssuch a good time here. You’ve all been ssso niccce to me. And I haven’t ssslept ssso well in yearsss. But, well, I guesss I’m homesssick. I missss my cave." And this time her sigh set a grape arbor on fire.

The next day, Pearl returned to her home. But, having learned a lesson from Allison Rose, she cleared all the treasure out of her cave and put down leaves and moss and straw instead. Since she didn’t need the gold and jewels any more, she had them shipped via SPS (Serpent Parcel Service) to King Dennis, who she knew would enjoy them. Sometimes she would fly back to Behrensia and spend the afternoon visiting Allison Rose. And though the princess enjoyed her visits very much, after a while, she realized that she was lonely again.

So one day Princess Allison Rose packed a sandwich (turkey and lettuce this time) and a juice box, and she snuck through the garden gate. Again she walked around fields and through orchards, and she walked across rivers and beneath mountains. And again her feet became very tired, and she sat down in an ancient forest to eat her sandwich.

She had taken only two bites when she heard a strange noise. It sounded like this: clump-clump-clump-clump-THOINK!

Allison Rose wrapped her sandwich back up and set off through the trees. Suddenly, something big and white came bursting out from behind some pines and went thundering past her (clump-clump-clump-clump), so close that she came inches from being run over. Cautiously, she followed.

In a small clearing she saw a beautiful white horse. But as she got closer, she saw that it wasn’t a horse at all, but a unicorn, and that he had just speared his ivory horn into the trunk of a massive oak (THOINK!). He struggled for a moment before managing to pull himself free. Then he just stood there, sides heaving, and his head drooping so low that his horn touched the ground.

"Excuse me…" Allison Rose began, and the unicorn started violently at her voice.

Now, unicorns are notoriously shy creatures. But this one took one look at the princess’s sunshine-colored ringlets, and her sparkling sapphire eyes, and her apple blossom cheeks (did I tell you she was beautiful?) and came trotting over to her.

"Acorns!" he exclaimed.

"Pardon me?"

"Acorns. I’m reduced to eating acorns. Like an idiot squirrel. And p-p-p-pine needles," he sobbed, and a great tear fell from his black velvet eye.

Allison Rose wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his moon-silver mane. "Oh, you poor thing," she murmured. "Why can’t you eat anything nicer?"

"I used to have my fill from the fields and orchards. Mmmm. I’d have lovely corn and pears and carrots and wheat and…well, everything. But then they started building subdivisions and strip malls, and there were way too many people around. We unicorns are solitary types, you know."

Allison Rose nodded sympathetically.

"I just kept moving on and moving on, and soon the only place that wasn’t crowded was this stupid forest. So here I am, surviving on acorns. And even the squirrels are better at getting them out of the tree than I am."

Of course, the princess knew what to do. She told the unicorn (whose name was Alban) about her garden, and about the juicy apples and peaches and plums that grew there. And she invited him to come and stay with her.

"That’s very kind of you," he said wistfully. "But the crowds of palace life…"

Allison Rose explained that Behrensia was a very small kingdom, and that there were no crowds. Just the princess, the King, and the Queen.

Happily, Alban accepted the princess’s invitation. She shared her sandwich with him (unicorns are vegetarians, so he skipped the turkey, and ate the bread and lettuce instead). Then he told her to climb on his gleaming back, and together they galloped out of the woods and back to the castle.

Alban sampled the tomatoes and cucumbers in the royal vegetable plot. He tasted all the different fruits. He even nibbled a little of the green grass, and pronounced it very tasty. In the end, he ate so much that his stomach was as tight as a drum, and he could only sink down by the second biggest fishpond with a contended little groan. Allison Rose, who’d snacked a bit herself, curled up next to him.

That evening, the King and Queen were surprised to find a unicorn dozing by the tv. But once the princess explained, they welcomed him graciously and invited him to stay.

For the next few weeks, Allison Rose and Alban had a terrific time together. All day they’d romp in the garden. Or they’d sit on the lawn as Alban told exciting stories and Allison Rose braided his snowy tail. And since unicorns, as everyone knows, are very well educated, in the evenings Alban and Queen Phyllis would have long and interesting (to them) discussions about Ologies.

But soon Allison Rose noticed that it was getting harder and harder to stay seated on Alban’s back. He seemed to be getting wider and wider. And the king in the neighboring kingdom began complaining that the Behrensia castle wasn’t zoned for livestock. King Dennis kept telling him that unicorns aren’t livestock, but the neighbor kept grumbling, "Horn or not, horses is livestock."

And one day, as Alban and Allison Rose were watching the fat bumblebees in the roses, Alban turned sadly to the princess. "I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave. You’ve been such a wonderful friend! But unicorns just weren’t made to live this sort of domesticated life."

So Alban returned to the forest the next day. Periodically he’d return to Behrensia, and Allison Rose would always pack him a big basket full of fruits and vegetables to take home. The next time he came back to visit, the basket would be full of gifts. For the princess he’d bring pretty flowers and interesting plants that he’d found in the woods. Queen Phyllis always seemed especially pleased with the phds and fmis he brought her, though nobody else could ever figure out what they were for. But eventually the princess became lonely again.

So one day she packed herself a sandwich (cheddar cheese and mayo) and a juice box, and tiptoed out the garden gate.

For a long time, the princess walked around fields and through orchards, and she walked across rivers and beneath mountains. Again her feet became tired, and she sat down next to a lily-covered pond to eat her sandwich.

She had taken only three bites when she heard a strange noise. It sounded like this: kerplop-kerplop-WAIL!

With a sigh, Allison Rose wrapped up her sandwich and went searching along the water’s edge. She saw dragonflies and cattails, and little silvery fish. And then she saw a huge emerald frog, hopping from lily-pad to lily-pad (kerplop-kerplop). Frequently the frog would pause for a moment, open its enormous mouth, and cry (WAIL!).

Allison Rose deduced immediately that this was no ordinary frog, but rather a victim of enchantment (did I tell you she was smart?). "Excuse me!" she called. "Can I help? I’m a princess, you know, and I’d be happy to give you a kiss." Actually, she didn’t really want to kiss a frog. She was just being polite.

The frog jumped over and landed with a splat at Allison Rose’s feet.

"Well, thanks anyway," croaked the frog sadly. "But I’m a girl. It’ll take a kiss from a prince to break this spell." A tear formed in one of the frog’s golden eyes and, absentmindedly, she stuck out her tongue and wiped it away.

Allison Rose frowned sympathetically. Suddenly, though, she had a thought (I said she was smart)! "Does it have to be a prince?" she asked. "Would a king do?"

"Sure. Prince, king, maybe even a duke’d do it. He can’t be married, though. Not that it matters: you’re the only royalty around here."

"Would you like to come home with me, then? We have some really lovely ponds in our garden. Lots of mud and bugs. And I just might be able help with the kiss thing."

"Sure, why not? Beats hanging around this swamp."

So Allison Rose finished her sandwich (the frog, whose name was Rana, had some flies instead). Then the princess made Rana a comfortable spot in her pocket, and started the long walk back to Behrensia.

It was quite late when Allison Rose and Rana arrived, and the King and Queen were getting worried. They were only slightly surprised to discover an enchanted frog in the princess’s pocket, and of course they invited Rana to stay.

Allison Rose and Rana had a wonderful time over the next few weeks. Rana taught the princess how to swim. It turned out that Rana was quite an expert on enchantments (in fact, she herself had accidentally created the frog curse: she’d hiccoughed one day while chanting a spell to get rid of flies in her kitchen) and in the evenings she’d stage magic shows for the royal family.

But sometimes Allison Rose would catch Rana gazing sadly at her reflection in the ponds. And everyone in the household kept slipping in the mud puddles the frog accidentally tracked into the house. The princess knew something would have to be done.

One day while she and Rana were skipping stones in the second biggest fishpond, the princess heard the king next door mowing his lawn. She ran to the garden wall, and Rana hopped behind her. "Your Majesty! Hello!" she called. He turned off his lawnmower and walked over.

"Well, hello, Princess," he said. "No more dragons or livestock?"

"No. But I would like you to meet my new friend, Rana." And she lifted the frog onto the top of the wall.

The king’s eyes became huge and he nearly lost his crown. "Scaphiopus couchii!! And such a beautiful specimen!" Overcome with excitement, he snatched up the frog and planted a huge kiss on her nose.

Poof!!

When the green smoke cleared, the next door neighbor king was flat on his back, and next to him, flat on her back, was a rather squat young woman with golden eyes and a wide smile.

To be honest, the king may have been a wee bit disappointed at first that he’d lost the frog. But his disappointment vanished when he learned that he and Rana had many interests in common, and he fell in love when she admired his bufo canoris and exclaimed over his cryptobranchus alleganiensis.

The next few days were very busy, as Allison Rose helped to plan the wedding. The ceremony was held in Behrensia, in the palace garden, and Allison Rose was the maid of honor. And Queen Phyllis was thrilled when Rana, as a hostess gift, gave her a spell for giving Evil Administrators warts.

But then the neighbor king and his wife (now Queen Rana) left for an extended honeymoon in the rain forest, and the princess was lonely once again. So, once again she packed herself a sandwich (cream cheese and cucumber) and a juice box, and she slipped out of the garden.

For a long time, the princess walked around fields and through orchards, and she walked across rivers and beneath mountains. Her feet were starting to get tired, so she stopped outside an old, abandoned hut. She sat on a fallen log and began to eat her sandwich.

But she’d only eaten four bites when she heard a strange noise. It sounded like this: pant-pant-pant-WHINE!

This time, she finished her sandwich. And with a resigned sigh, she walked around the hut to find the source of the noise.

Tied to a pillar on the back porch was a knotted old rope, and at the other end of the rope was a gigantic dog. She was thin and her once-beautiful coat was tangled and full of burrs. There was no shade in the back yard and she was very hot (pant-pant-pant), but the rope had become too tangled for her to reach the little stream that ran behind the hut (WHINE!).

When she heard Allison Rose she trotted as close as the rope would permit and stood with her tail waving slowly and hopefully.

"Hello," said Allison Rose. "Would you like me to untie you?"

The dog said nothing (Of course! Dogs can’t talk!) but wagged her tail a little faster. So the princess walked slowly over, and let the dog sniff her hand, and then, with some difficulty, undid the rope around her neck. The dog, who had a remarkably large tongue, gave her a big kiss on the face, and then had a nice long drink. Then she returned to the princess and sat on her feet. Allison Rose looked down at her thoughtfully.

"You’re not going to breathe fire, are you?" The dog licked her face again.

"And you may be big, but you’re not livestock." The dog sneezed twice.

"And you’re not really an enchanted dog, who’ll turn into something else if a prince kisses you?" The dog collapsed on her back and waited for Allison Rose to rub her belly.

The dog looked so hungry that the princess was sorry she’d eaten the whole sandwich.

So the princess returned to Behrensia with the dog (whose name she didn’t know, so she called her Ruthie) at her side. The King and Queen were slightly relieved to discover a dog with her this time. Of course, Ruthie was allowed to stay.

For the next few weeks, Allison Rose and Ruthie had a wonderful time together. They swam in the ponds and rolled on the grass and napped under the trees. And in the evenings, Ruthie would curl up on the floor between King Dennis and Queen Phyllis and snore.

And Ruthie never did breathe fire or get called livestock or turn into something else. Sometimes she’d leave muddy footprints on the palace floor, and she usually shed all over the royal clothes, but nobody really minded. She didn’t care that Princess Allison Rose was brave and beautiful and smart. She only had one gift to give to the royal family, and that was her love. And they gave it right back.

In the very small kingdom of Behrensia, nobody was ever lonely again.

And they all lived happily ever after.

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